Psalm 1 speaks of the one who is blessed, whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and he meditates on it day and night. It says that this person will be like, “a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season…”
I’ve often taught that using the concept of at different times in our lives, we are in different “seasons”. We don’t serve when we are in our 60’s the same way we did in our 20’s, but “fruit” is still being produced.
There’s another thing that happens in different seasons of our lives – and this has more to do with “life” than it does with age. Some seasons are just plain harder than other seasons.
Twenty years ago Joe and I went through one period in our lives where we attended more than 12 funerals in 18 months. These were all family or extended family or church family. That was a tough season.
We seem to be in another “season” now. It seems that everywhere I look, someone I know has cancer or another debilitating disease – many of them are very serious. When we went through that season before, I wrote the following poem…. and I’ll have to admit, the thought about the wall crossed my mind again this morning…
Building that Wall Again
On July 11, 1996, we received the news that my aunt (whom we affectionately called “Gran”) was diagnosed with cancer, throughout… then I sat down and wrote this poem.
“When I was a child
I spoke as a child, I understood as a child
I thought as a child.
But, when I became an adult
I put away childish things…”*
Or did I?
In 1969, I was 15 years old
When my uncle died.
He was my Mother’s closest brother
And he was my friend.
And it hurt.
Then I decided
That if I built a wall around my heart
And never loved
That I would never be hurt… again…
So I did.
And it took many years to overcome that mentality
To be able to love again.
But I did.
I should say, with God’s help, I did…
And today I am an adult
With all the entrappings of adulthood,
A home
A husband
Children
Responsibilities…
But in the past year
I’ve been carrying a weight
That has about worn me down;
A mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s
But that wasn’t enough it seemed
The past 5 months
Have been one long bad dream…
I’ve lost an uncle
And an aunt
And a very sweet friend.
And now, I’m thinking about building that wall again.
I’m thinking
About building that wall again…
But it’s too late
I already love too many people…
©1996 Betty Newman
*Scripture from 1 Corinthians 13:11
(PS – Little did I know when I wrote that poem that over the next year, Joe and I would lose more than a dozen folks from our “blood” families and Church families… It was a very difficult 2 years…)
(PPS – today – 2017, I am holding to that “Blessed Hope” that is promised in the scriptures. As Job said, “I know my Redeemer liveth…” And because He lives, I can fact tomorrow… and today, too. Amen.)
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